Back to Work


Well it took 31 actual long years, but I finally have a totally complete college education. Barring, of course, any last minute snafus. Which, you know, the main thing you learn in college is to fully and always expect snafus. On graduation day I plan to not do the normal stuff, but will instead try for once to just plain old enjoy the day…perhaps with 47 gallons of soda pop and a trillion hours of bad movies. Which, I feel awful about my wife having to suffer through yet another Z-movie marathon, but we’re just about down to the bottom of the list, so don’t worry, there’s daylight at the end of this particular dank old tunnel. Anyway, I plan to also stay as far away as I can from any and all colleges in North America. Because I think I earned at least a 24-hour respite.

Meanwhile, back to the workforce, I guess. Now armed with degrees maybe they will finally let me be a stock boy! (Or a stock geezer.) Before I was usually the guy getting shopping carts from the parking lot. Except without that cool tractor thing they use now at your fancier five and dimes. Can’t wait to drive one of those. If “drive” is the word.

The main thing I enjoy about my smock is, the label claims it was made by an outfit called “New York Orthopedic Identity Solutions.” Which I imagine is a pretty futuristic type of place where you can get smocks with all kinds of advanced properties. Though I’m too tired at the moment from yesterday’s giant repair job to imagine walks of life it’d be funny to have futuristic smocks for. If “funny” is the word. I mean, the answer is probably “none” if you think about it past about two or three seconds.

More on the closet repair later. Maybe. The pictures came out blurry, as usual. In all of my 200+ credit hours, I never once came close to learning how to take non-blurry pictures. Shame spiral, activate!

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