We have the kind of internet service where messages scribbled on gum wrappers get carried around in the baby pouches of semi-trained possums. I mean, I guess it’s a slow system, but even so it’s actually really fun to watch the iPossums leap or scurry or whatever they do from treetop to treetop across the more Narnia-like parts of the county. Of course, the wilderness is chock full of hungry goblins armed with slingshots, so you’re never sure if the possums you attached your network packets to will make it to wherever you want them to go. But they get the job done more often than you might expect, even if sometimes letters and pictures get a little chewed-up in the process.
But at the moment the whole possum system seems to be totally down for some reason…maybe that big storm that washed through earlier made the trees too slippery for the iPossums. Maybe a silo in a local server farm got zapped by a lightning bolt. Maybe somebody somewhere forgot to wind up the flywheel on the router that directs possum traffic over the hills and through the woods.
In any case, whatever’s going on is keeping me from uploading this brand new website I’ve been working on non-stop for the last four days. So if you go to xyzpdqpress.com and notice anything missing or not working like how it should work, that’s the problem. I mean, it could also be that I put a semi-colon in the wrong place or forgot to close a <p> tag. But mostly it’s because our 19th Century internet is behaving like it was made in the 16th Century, so that I’ve so far only been able to upload random chunks of my site.
Oh, well, I’ll try again tomorrow, I suppose. Meanwhile, I apologize if you’re having the same trouble I’m having seeing my stuff. Probably a mouse took a bite out of a wire in some wire-filled broom closet in the middle part of North Dakota. (Have you read Andrew Blum’s Tubes? That’s a dandy beach read all about the weird places where the Internet is actually at.) Anyway, hope this thing gets fixed really soon…