10. Fish Mouth
A gritty reboot of When Harry Met Sally, with Rooney Mara as Sally, Christian Bale as Harry, Channing Tatum as Bruno Kirby, and Charlotte Gainsbourg as Carrie Fisher.
9. Narcoleptic, Parts 1 and 2
The uneventful journey of a sleepy young woman through the first few decades of her life, which she mostly spent in a comfy futon. Featuring Kirsten Dunst as “Jim” and Stellan Skarsgård as Dr. Pillow, who is a really good and patient listener for six really long hours.
8. Arbor Day
A romantic comedy about star-crossed foresters, starring Olivia Wilde and Nick Nolte.
7. The Silly Putty Movie
Pixelshack’s long-awaited tentpole project about a wad of clay named Ruben and another wad of clay named Ruby, who assume various fun shapes during psychedelic adventures caused by newspaper ink.
6. Oedipus!: Vengeance of the Thebans
Starring former pro wrestler Steve The Shark Dallas as the accursed king and former pro wrestler Randy The Anvil Paxton as The Sphinx. With various monsters by Rick Baker and abs by Industrial Light and Magic.
5. X-Men Origins: Jackalope
Another brick in the gold brick road that Marvel’s paving all the way to the bank. Based on a fairly obscure Jack Kirby creation, Jackalope was directed by indie auteur Dax Boone and stars Benedict Cumberbatch as Monty Marx, a mutant with various rabbit powers.
4. Urban Fury
A gritty reboot of Se7en starring Tyler Perry as Brad Pitt, Ryan Gosling as Morgan Freeman, Dane Cook as Kevin Spacey, and Kevin Spacey as Gwyneth Paltrow.
3. Do the Math
A romantic comedy set in a Texas calculator factory in the 1970s, starring Dakota Fanning and Bruce Dern.
2. Beach Police
A gritty reboot of Point Break, starring Zac Efron as Keanu Reeves and Keanu Reeves as “Dunebuggy,” the leader of a gang of windsurfing jewel thieves.
1. Afternoon of the Planet of the Fauns
At long last, the movie of the dystopian YA classic by Annabelle Horst. With Andy Serkis as the bottom half of orphaned faun prince Octavius Quint and former Disney pop star Nebraska Skye as Quint’s human girlfriend Trixie Foxheart.